Have you ever been in a situation that no matter how steadily and diligently you have been working towards your goals that they were just not happening? Even worse. You might have started noticing that everything started to go sour. And you wondered. Is this some kind of a sign that I am not supposed to be doing this? Or should I be doing it differently? What is going on? You feel disappointed, irritated, start loosing trust and bewilderment starts settling in your bones as if ready to be with you for long. Things are simply out of whack and your mojo is gone! And maybe you even start feeling sorry for yourself. How did I even get here?
Well, you are not alone. Every now and then, we get into such situations. It’s almost like being trapped. Let me tell you about my recent string of “bad luck”.
This happened to me in a span of three weeks:
I came back from an amazing skiing trip in Italy. The snow, the mountains, the company and the charming Italian village. It was all just perfect. And then, upon return, the minute I opened the door of my house, things started getting down the hill. With skiing boots, skis and a large suitcase on my back, I was waiting for one of the elevators to arrive only to realise in horror that both of the elevators were out of order. It was Saturday evening, my phone battery was at 1% and I live on 7th floor. There was no one I could mobilise at that hour with 1% battery. And my neighbours were out. So my physical side got a good challenge and I walked up 7 floors with all the luggage and skiing equipment. Easy, the difficulty is just in your mind, I thought.
A few days later, my new car that I had purchased only 2 months before died. On a cold Sunday evening. In spite of help from friends who tried to “ resuscitate” my car, nothing seemed to help. The next morning, I has arranged for my former “knight in armour” to be towed and repaired. Little did I know that that I was getting training in car tow arrangement. The same day, the battery was replaced and my car was back to its previous “spirit”. Or so I thought. Exactly 8 days later, my car “died” again. This time, it was a Monday afternoon with sub zero temperatures. The next morning, the car towing was quicker and a bit cheaper. After all, I was getting better at car tow arrangements.
The third unfortunate event included purchasing furniture. Pieces that I have been longing to buy for the last two years. When we finally got around to purchasing them, transported them over to the island and began assembling them, we realised that the manufacturer packed the wrong pieces and I had to go back to the mainland, spending hours on ferry, travel and a queue. The furniture pieces are now wonderfully assembled and we have a story to tell with it too;-).
Sometimes, the course of events can leave us feel suffocated and feeling like the streak of bad luck will never stop. In that moment, It it can almost feel that that the universe is conspiring against us. Maybe there is a lesson, maybe it’s for a reason. More importantly, i’s important to recenter and gain a different perspective. So what to do when it feels that hope immigrated to another country for good ?
● zoom out of your current lens and get some perspective. When we see the situation from our narrow angle, opportunities often seem zero to none. A change of perspective can alter the whole understand and a view immensely. Take any perspective: your favourite book character or someone that inspires you deeply and imagine how would that character react. Maybe you look at it through your “ dancing shoes” or “ trekking boots”: whatever perspective, move. Don’t stay stuck. As my friend once put it, if you are sitting in a sinkhole, you see only walls around. If you zoom out, take a perspective of a drone above, you will see steps hiding behind the trees and also your friends coming to look for your at the sinkhole.
- give yourself time. A few hours, a few days will allow yoir mind to calm and reassess. And meanwhile, you will have already thought about different perspectives. Maybe, there is really something that needs to be change on the course towards reaching your goal. Maybe , it was just a stumbling block to test your determination.
- realise and count all the things that actually work well. Maybe your marriage or your significant relationship, your school or work, you have great kids, your health, you have a really nice place to live in? List all the things that you are taking for granted.Be honest with yourself.
- observe what has triggered you when things seemingly started falling apart. That is also the issue that you need to work on most. It might be an unresolved situation or a lingering feeling that you need to process.
- If this is a longer process, get some support, a coach, a good friend, a community of support and start practicing some mental fitness techniques.If you are familiar with mindfulness, positive intelligence, mediation or any other technique that will train your mental muscles so you can bounce back quicker the next time things start falling apart.
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