A few weeks ago, I had a wonderful soul to soul conversation with my colleague Asel in Asel’s Complaint Free Life Podcast about transitioning to a more purposeful life, in our case from international humanitarian life to a different kind of a serving profession. We talked about the different stages of transition to a Purposeful Life, how to do it and why it’s important. We exchanged about the challenges that come along with such a transition and this also what made me realise that when you are driven by the vision of a Purposeful Life, you do not mind any obstacles along way no matter how big ones. Contrary to that, not living with a sense of purpose in life feels tiring and uncertain.
But what is this Purposeful Life anyway? There is a lot of media attention about how to achieve such a life but much less on what it actually is, why is it better for everyone and how it feels? And this is why I decided to write this blog post.
Some may ask: ” Is this something I am born with, my parents gave me in my childhood or I find it overtime?” The answer is not the same for everyone. For some, living a life on purpose is as straightforward as it can be. Somehow they “know” from the early age. For others, things are less clear, they are still figuring it out or adjusting to their new purpose. And then there are those, who seem to be living day by day, either not knowing or not being bothered about what is the big deal with this purposeful life?
So, why is it better to live a life on purpose? For one reason, people who are living a purposeful life seem to have better resilience, they seem to recover faster, have lower incidents of heart attack, quicker recovery, they experience slower rates of cognitive decline compared to non-purposeful populations. Moreover, they also show slower development of Alzheimer as opposed to the other populations and more according to the research of the Assist. Professor Anthony Burrow from Cornell University who has dedicated his life to studying exactly this question.
Having a sense of purpose is also associated with lower impulsivity and higher access to resources. How come you ask? Purpose can give you a basis to decide how to best allocate time and resources. Overall, having sense of purpose allows you to better weather all sorts of situations. Purposeful Life is better for your well-being. What more, having sense of purpose is associated even with more attractivity! Wow.
But what is this purposeful life anyway? How different is it from having goals and meaning in life? Asst Prof Burrows clarifies that your Life Purpose is a sort of a organiser of your goals. Throughout your life, you set yourself different goals and together they create a purpose for which you are here on this planet. You don’t life for one goal only. Just remember how it feels when you reach one of your goals. There is usually a moment of happiness, a feeling of elation that tends to evaporate rather quickly and hop, you are again onto your next goal. If you think that goals are achievable, e.g. teaching your child 3 languages, the purpose would be to raise a tolerant, smart, resilient and loving child.
And how is this different from a meaning of life? In meaning, we sort of tend to look backwards. What was the meaning of this or that event. With purpose, we tend to portray and seek it in future. Additionally, the link between identity and purpose is important too. It answers the question, who am I and what I am here to do?
Purpose comes as a continuous and gradual exploration. If you find yourself doing something systematically that engages you deeply on many levels, you may start to ask yourself whether this is really you are here to do. My friend once told me about a calling of a baker and it landed with me so powerfully that I always use this example. Imagine a baker. Someone who has realised that s/he/them love to prepare the dough, bake fresh bread and pastry and place it in the bakery and make people super happy with the smell and taste of fresh bread when they come to buy it every day, bringing joy to their daily lives, building social connections and creating the most important staple food for thousands of people.
One of the basics to identify your life purpose is to listen to yourself carefully. Listen to your intuition ( in fact, the latest science says that this is your 1st brain that had developed even before the one in our skull), be attuned to what really brings you joy, activities that deeply fulfil you and where you sense a great alignment with you values. In fact, finding a sense of purpose is quite effortless. The more you strive, push and hassle, the less you’ll be attuned to hear what it really is.
We do however have a strong habit to push through crucial moments when intuition speaks to us loudly but “ we have already made” plans of how to live and what the intuition is saying “ does not fit » into our larger scheme. I have been there and pushed against my intuition many times in the past until the calls kept on getting lounder, stronger and until I had no choice but to listen.
So where to start if you have this deep sense of there is more to life than this and that there is something else for me that I should be doing with my life :
Give yourself time – If you don’t, nobody else will, besides, you already know that exploring and building a purposeful life does not happen overnight
Intuition – Listen to what your intuition is telling you, to the small signs that you are hearing, the small nudges you get and have the tendency to push through them
Give yourself the resources – you may need to do a training, invest in a professional support/ accompaniment, remember, the best investment is in yourself
Journal – ideally every day, even if it’s only a few words. When you read these words in one or two months, you will clearly notice tendencies that will give you further answers
Do more of what makes you really joyful – Small acts. There might be big answers in it. See what these acts create in other people’s lives? How does it make you feel?
Be accompanied – Find someone who supports you and deeply believes in you. Might be your partner, your coach, your trainer, your grandma. Someone who always supports you and builds you up.
Support network – Identify who is your support group people that you can always fall back on.
Observe – Someone or something may deeply inspire you.
Building a purposeful life is a gradual and sustained effort and engagement and you may also set out a timeline, to check where you are in 3-6 and 12 months. It’s a process and don’t forget, you get out of it what you invested in it:-)
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